A busy day

Kerry: "Ok Finn, let's get going. We have a reeeally busy day today!"
Finn: "I'm bored, Mommy... I want to be busy."

And so began the whirlwind of suburbanite domesticity that was today.

The night before, Finn had cried as he saw his brother and sister drive off with Daddy. Not only were they they not here to play with but they were going CAMPING without him!!

Let me break in here a little... I know camping is not for everyone... "why would I want to purposely sleep out in the woods" etc. and all that but let me tell you, camping is a kid dream. Or let me preface.... camping with DADDY is a kid's dream. You can get as dirty as you want, climb trees, root beers and snacks in the cooler, nothing to keep tidy, s'mores, no napkins, stay up late, skip brushing teeth, pee in the woods, etc., etc.

Ok so this morning, having committed to getting the food together for two events, one a breakfast at a church event, the other at a Cub Scout event involving about 100 people, Kerry sets out in the minivan complete with the Finnster and our grill precariously lodged in the back. She soon realizes assistance is required so when a few considerate individuals offer up the "let me know if you need any help" Kerry quickly takes them up on it and forces are marshalled at Costco.

Thanks to everyone, things end up working out pretty well. Badminton was played, feet were attacked by fire ants, decorated eggs were pneumatically hurled into the air, and toddlers wandered off in the woods.... the usual.

Where are the Keys, Part 17

About 9 weeks ago, I had left my keys in the car out front of my in-law's place while I was organizing their recyclables. Finn messed around in the car a little and when I got him out, I couldn't find my keys. I was in a rush so I grabbed Kerry's set and headed to the recycling center. There was a good chance Finn had dropped them in the bin of plastics so I was planning on looking in it as I picked everything out one by one. Of course, by the time I actually ended up doing this I had forgotten all about it and dumped the whole bin in at one time.

After searching everywhere we figured that yes, Finn had dropped them in the bin and they were indeed in the bottom of the plastics dumpster at the recycling center which was now closed and would be until Monday. I called then and was told the plastics had been hauled off to the main center. I called there and left a message knowing I would never see my keys again.

I actually called a few more times and talked to a guy who said he'd let me know if they found them but, of course, nothing happened. So after a few times locked out of my office (I had my office key AND the security tag on my set) I got a replacement set. I had keys to our Thule carrier and the bike rack too on the lost set but had extras. But for my bike lock, wrapped around my handlebars, I had nothing so bought a new lock.

Three days ago I planned to cut off the old one with my Father in-law's boltcutters but didn't, figuring I'd look around a little more for any extra keys.

Then today, I lost my replacement set. First off, let me say that I shouldn't say "lost". Until now, I had never actually "lost" my keys. No matter what craziness had befallen them they always managed to turn up. So today I misplaced my keys once again at my in-law's and gave up looking for them and decided that the kids and I would walk up to the pool instead of driving.

As I'm pushing the jogging stroller up the driveway, I ask Erin to go check in the middle console to see if my keys were in there. She jumps in the car for about three seconds before emerging with a triumphant look. But in her hand is not the very small set that was my new set of keys but the clunky big set with the duct-taped Odyssy key that I had "misplaced" over two months ago!

She had found them in the sunglass cubby over the windshield.

Delmarva-lous!

Just about every summer, we make the long drive up to Delaware were my aunt-in-law has a house about a 100 yards from the beach spend a relaxing week or so slathered in sunscreen and sand.

Highlights of this summer's beachapalooza include:

In DC on the way up in the American History Museum, a laughing Finn decided to sample the tastes of the city by licking the main floor.

Liam was the builder and made sand sculptures of a slice of pizza, a crashed flying saucer, and a giant foot. Not to mention that he made a working crane from the remnants of an Erector Set from the 50's or 60's.




Erin was the mermaid and was tireless on her boogie board, spending hours honing her craft. Plus riding her bike around the neighborhood and and helping her aunt in the garden.

















The first 2-3 days the water was like a lake and Finn completely ignored the ocean. Of course, the 4th day when the waves were insane is the day he decides to take an interest in the water but basically, he stuck to his mission to destroy his brother's creations whenever his back was turned.







On the last day, with the van all packed up, Cokes at the ready for the driver, toys and books organized in the back for the kiddies.... all ready to go, hugs given and byes made. I start the van in reverse and back up 1" - ONE INCH - and here "I gotta go potty!" from the back. I swear to God I am not making this up! I know, I know 1 inch is better than 1 mile down the road but it was hilarious... or would've been if it wasn't repeated every half hour!

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Last week I had the pleasure of experiencing two birthdays.... mine and my youngest son's.

For Finn's 3rd, we had been planning for a while to take him to see Cars 2.
1) He liked the first Cars
2) It was premiering on his actual birthday
3) It would be his first movie on the big screen

It was only later we found out that
4) The #2 main character was named Finn!

Fun was had by all and he now is the proud owner of several Finn McMissile accoutrements including two T-shirts, a few toy cars, and a flashlight.

Then for my birthday my wonderful wife kept it simple, some beer and a few uninterrupted hours playing old school Mario with Liam.

We don't have a Wii or DS or anything like that for the kids so although their absence keeps proving itself a great thing time and time again, every once in a while I have the occasional nagging vision of my eldest son unable to "hold his own" in imagined pre-teen basement contests of manhood. So because of this, it eases my parental guilt to treat myself.... nay, to "instruct" my son in the fine time-honored tradition of gamesmanship.

Plus Mario is goddamn cool as hell...

I remember well sitting on a ratty (ratty? maybe "vomity" is a more accurate term since I never saw a rat there) couch in a ra- err.... well lived-in apartment deep in what was termed the "ghetto" next to the University of Central Florida, well-supplied with Busch but still riveted at 5am in concentration on jumping on the egg in Ice World 2 or throwing the turtle shell in order to unleash the Tanooki feather or whatever it was we were doing that I really only just now remember the details of because I recently gloriously relived them...

5am? It was more like 7am when I stumbled outside after finally defeating King Frog. Good times those were. Searching for hidden shortcuts for hours and hours, fish sandwiches, Subway drama.... good times. Mario 2 and 3... fine vintages.

GRAVY BOAT STAY IN THE NOW!!

My youngest son's birthday is 3 days before mine which is nice because it has eclipsed mine.

I suppose if I "got what I wished for" and nobody mentioned my birthday again I might miss the normal gestures of friendship and civility especially from my family but are birthday celebrations really something adults should be indulging in? Sure, maybe back in the days of influenza, famine, and invading hordes the culmination of another year of life was an achievement, something worthy of commemorating. But now? What the hell are you celebrating? The fact that you didn't crash your car?

I'm not saying you shouldn't celebrate your achievements.. you bought a nice house, graduated college, got a new job, stayed married for 10 years? Have a party!

But... you managed to live another year??

You want to celibrate life, love, and family? I've got no problem with that either... that's what Christmas, anniversaries, kid's birthdays, Mother's/Father's Day, etc and all that is for.

We've got enough freakin holidays. And, by the way, to most of you I'm talking to, our GODDAMN ENTIRE LIVES ARE HOLIDAYS!!!!

And let me emhasize, by that I don't mean you should feel guilty or that you haven't earned what you have. I'm just saying do you really feel you deserve pats on the back and a few gifts for doing F*ING NOTHING BUT MANAGING TO BREATH AIR FOR ANOTHER YEAR???

Planet Jim:

Are you under 5? You get a birthday!! It's mostly for your parents anyway but you did manage not to run out in the street and get hit by a car or stick a fork in an electrical socket so hey, here's some cake!

Are you 5 - 10? Ok, you get a birthday... mostly it's a way to get you to socialize with other kids outside of school now that we make you live in this freakish isolated suburban world but hey, here's a giant pizza! And some cake!

Are you over 10? No, you don't get a birthday... you already have enough crap, you still get Christmas, and it's about time you started learning what the world is really like so get out there and shovel the snow off the driveway before you walk 12 blocks to school...

And you don't get a birthday again until you're 1 year past the average life span.

Quite the Fiffer-feff

Yesterday was some kind of Dr. Suess appreciation day at my kids' elementary. From the evening reports, 90% of the kids did nothing, 9% taped a "Thing 1" sign to their shirt, a few kids wore Cat in the Hat hats or did their hair ala little Cindy Lou Who, 2 kids (one of which was my son) put stars on ther shirts and were the elite Sneetches, and Erin decided to be a Nook.

And no one but Erin had anything to do with it.

But you know me.....

Although Ker and I (mostly Ker) are working to get the house ready to put on the market, it was a good weekend. It was in the mid-70's and sunny the whole time... well, at least during the day, right?

Saturday night was a throwback to intown spring nights: sitting on a patio people-watching. Of course, it was at an open mall instead of the Highlands, and rather than a beer in my hand, I had a sleeping Finn on my shoulder but hey, it was great... well, except fot that thing about not having a beer.

Sunday, Liam and I did a suburban hike through a "wild" area straddling a creek wandering through developments. I'd feel more at ease hiking on a trail rather than through briars skirting backyards but he digs the whole unknown about it.... a real trail just leads to more trail. And I'm outside not scraping gum off the bathroom floor so I'm not complaining.

Then I spent a half hour watching all three of'em riding bikes up and down the driveway at the in-law's place then a little later, we're eating Subway at a new playground at sunset. Like I said, not complaining noooooooo how.

Status update

Well, it's been a while since I blogged mostly because I took the plunge and joinedthe teeming hordes on Facebook.

One advantage is has over blogging (besides the fact that people actually read some of what I write) is the fact that like the rest of our culture, it's fast and furious and can be sampled in quick bites.

One disadvantage is that it's fast and furious and can be sampled in quick bites.

I like to write long-winded rants and extended musings sometimes but I have 3 kids so I don't get the time much. So what I'm going to attempt is to blend the two.

So here's mud in yer eye!