Vulcan Lab Doll

Tomorrow we’re hittin’ the road for Florida. This morning, Liam woke us up a 7 on the dot, and we went out to the tree for the annual ripping open of presents.

Liam loves the Legos but he’s not into the Star Wars or any of the other movie stuff, he likes the machines and the buildings. He got two city sets but the eye opener was a giant Nerf machine gun.

Oh wait, no this is it.

Erin’s been wanting one of those pricey American Girl dolls for two years but we told he she’d need to be able to read the books. I’m sure it wasn’t the only reason (at least I hope it wasn’t) but now she’s reading a ton so Santa got her one.

Finn, not really knowing what the heck’ going on but enjoying it all the same, got some Nerf balls, a bowling game, and a plush brown Labrador.

I got a bunch of great stuff from REI the big one being a pair of hiking boots. I’m not a big fan of the word “deserve” but I think in this case, the word fits. In 2001, my bother-in-law gave me a 5yr old pair of LL Bean boots. They were a little beat up and a few sizes too big but, hey, can’t beat the price, right? I’ve hiked in them many times up Stone Mountain, countless times at Amicalola Falls, a few times up Blood Mountain, and on the entire Appalachian Trail in Georgia so I’m due a new pair.

Plus this and a coffee mug to replace the Nissan one I lost at work.

My gifts to Kerry were a little... well, pretty weak this year but Valentine’s is around the corner, right?

I’m dreaming of a “White Christmas”-less Christmas

Usually [our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we] I try to get my annual Christmas rant up before the actual day but hey, I’ve been busy. But I’ll keep it short and to the music.

Since Thanksgiving, Kerry has had the house filled basically non-stop with music from a Christmas music channel on the TV. I can’t [well maybe just a half a drink more] complain too much because a) it’s not TV, and b) it’s mostly the classic 50-60’s stuff.

However, now I HATE the classic 50-60’s Christmas music that I used to like. There’s only so much of ”giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let's go, let's look at the show” and “city sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style” a man can stand. I’m sure my agony at hearing Bing will pass in time… for Ethel Merman, it definitely will not… but I have to admit to a newfound love of Goulet.

Next year, I will have to come up with something new to throw in the mix. Maybe this from a friend’s recommendation.

And more Goulet of course.

Is it tomorrow or just the end of time?

Yesterday I continued a current tradition and hopefully rekindled an old one.

I continued my ritual of last minute Christmas shopping by heading out with Liam to buy my gifts for my wife and to help Liam get his present for Kerry as well. Since my wife takes care of all the shopping including for my family, this is all I really have to do. Amazingly though, I spent 5 hours out just to get 3-4 basic gifts. Sure for a little less than an hour we ate at Liam’s fav Subway but I didn’t even go near the Malls. 5 hours?!

Since I haven’t been running much lately, I’ve made a point of riding my bike every weekend. I ride my old running route with two lanes so cars can afford to move over a bit and a lot of massive hills. This time I changed it up so that the turnaround ended up at Taco Mac.

Back in my intown days, oftimes after a bike ride around town, we’d end up at Neighbor’s in Va-Hi and talk about the waitresses and sip on afternoon Purple Haze. I don’t know how we started drinking that… the draft is significantly less sweet than the bottle, by the way…. but it felt right after working up a sweat. Another thing we’d do (covered here) is Wings on Sunday’s at Taco Mac so conveniently, I’ve decided to combine the two and have a mid-ride Purple Haze on my weekend bike treks.

Although a two-year-old Taco Mac in a Target parking lot is a far cry from my idea of a trusty ol'neighborhood watering hole, I’ll take what I can get.

Never underestimate the power of the Swami

Super Dodgeball on the Nintendo was truly the mack-daddy of drinking games. Countless hours were wasted and beers were consumed while sitting on the nasty carpet of my college apartment in front of the TV. If you haven’t played it, you have no idea what I’m talking about. If you’ve played it a few times or only by yourself, you still have no idea. If you’ve played it with others for at least a few hours, you are on the verge of enlightenment. You are nodding sagely to yourself, a glow of nostalgic contentment spreading across your face.

But…

If you have played…nay, LIVED it among Men, with a beer in your hand and a cheer in your heart, and the certainty of knowledge that if you are thwoked with a ball you must drink… and drink well… then you, sir, are my brother.

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed.
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Rock in the Hand

In the Dart on the way home
Matt, Mark, me, and forgot the other guy
At some point shook-up beers were sprayed all over the cabin
Pull up to my apartment
Matt, thinking I’m on a mission of vengeance, sprints out the door
Hits the point of the driveway where it angles down
Wile E. Coyote-style continues straight
Slams, sprawled out in the gravel at the base
Bleeding and torn, shuffles inside

Panicky roommate wants to call 911
“Huh? My hands bleeding.. big deal.”

All I wanted was a Pepsi. And you wouldn’t give it to me.

Ambulance shows up and they’re the cops from Superbad

Yeah right
Take two aspirin, call me in the morning

Next day we wander over to some guy’s house and play Nintendo
Matt takes off the bandage
A little hard fleck in the middle of the wound
Gets a needle to probe
A touch of the speck causes a tectonic disturbance in his palm

More digging

Speck begets fleck
Fleck begets smidgen
Smidgen begets grit

Grit begets pellet
Pellet begets pebble
Pebble begets massive, craggy boulder from a vast cavern within the flesh of his palm

Guitar Hero: Opel Edition

Ok... here it is:

At one point in college, a friend of mine (I’ll call him “Matt”) had three utter POS cars that I believe, after each breakdown, he would re-assess the condition of each to determine how he could have a drive-able (in the most literal sense of the word) vehicle with the least amount of money and effort.

He had a Lancia something-or-other, a Baja Bug, and an Opel station wagon.

I guess the Lancia must have been a sad case because I don’t remember much about it. In fact, the only thing I know about Lancia’s at all is that Herbie fell in love with one in Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo (the Lancia is at 0:48. Come to think of it, the Baja looked a little like Herbie but with some red and blue stripes not to mention the fat stinger exhaust in the back.

Speaking of, Matt liked to race the bug through puddles to give the passenger a refreshing splash up through his chicken wire floor panel. The neighbor’s also loved to hear the sound of his muffler-less engine as he raced through our apartment complex across from the college known affectionately as “the ghetto”. And, on occasion, he would catch air in the thing on a giant hill next to a construction zone (there being zero non-man-made hills in Florida).

I cut my teeth on Smashing Pumpkin’s “Gish” and pre-“Mother’s Milk” Red Hot Chili Pepper’s on a single sputtering side-door speaker dangling from the rear view mirror in that bug. Another time, I could’ve easily cut my HEAD open as we made high-speed crop circles in roof high grass in the middle of the night hoping there was nothing lurking in the stuff…a shrub, a log, a freakin’ abandoned CAR for chrissakes could’ve been in there!!

But the gem of the lot had to be the Opel. At one point, the cable linking the gas pedal to the engine throttle became severed so the ever resourceful Matt, likely in a hurry to get to his job downtown, wired a guitar string to the throttle, passed it out through the side of the hood and into the driver window, tied it around a screwdriver, and held it with one hand to drive the car.

Take that, Nader!

Beat to the Punchline

Well, still not done with the site and...
STILL not done with the tile so I'm not quite ready for the three POS story but looking at the BOOKS section of the Sunday paper this morning I did realize this.

Aww crap... someone - who am I kiddin'? - a bunch of people already thought of this.

The movie was ok but that poster has to be one of my all-time favorites. It's true genius.