Fade to Black

Once again, I'm going to have to pull out of the blog thing. We've got a big kitchen project impending and I'm going to be the main guy for communications for my Cub Scout pack. Not to mention I've hardly got even close to where I want to be prepared-for-the-worse job-wise.

I mean, I can make time for little blurbs like always but that's not really what I want to use this for. I'd like to write up some of the stories here and other longer commentaries.

The countdown to my re-emergence in force after Halloween begins now.

Acorn Summit - Is it live or is it Memorex?

As everyone knows, I just love the clever little names that developers come up with for their suburban projects, whimsical titles like Mulberry Farms (with nary a chicken in sight), oxymorons like River Hill and Valley Pointe (I confess I made up that last one but all the rest in this post are bonafide and in my area), and, speaking of “Pointe”, grammatically-challenged misspellings like Park Brooke and Thornbury Parc.

Well, Erin’s Pixie Hollow “game” is full of names like this. Of course, the Springtime Orchard in this virtual world IS a springtime orchard… not a sterile subdivision full of lookalike homes. Cottonpuff Field is actually a field full of cotton plants not a field full of empty streets and weed-choked lots waiting for the recession to end.

Even the names of the servers have development names like "Hidden Ridge" and "Sunflower Vale".

Anyway, I’m going to list some names and you tell me which are actual subdivisions in the Atlanta area and which are locations on Pixie Hollow.


Ivey Falls


Lake Forest


Arbor Meadows


Shady Shores


Rose Hill


Beaver Cove


Grand Cascades


Briar Meadows


Autumn Hills





That’s right. They’re all goddamn subdivisions.

Random notes before the end

I'm going to Roseau, Minnesota next week. If you look at a mpa of the US, you'll see a little piece of Minnesota sticking up into Canada... this is the most northern point of the contiguous United States... that's where I'll be.

This was a bit I heard on NPR about an artist that recently died. I liked his quote at the end of the article: "We don't see each other. We are blind to each other's humanity."

What ever happened to those sun shades everyone had back in the late 80's/early 90's? I mean, EVERYONE had these cheap pieces of folded-up cardboard in their cars. At first, there were just the ones with a pair of sunglasses pictured on them then, like everything, they came out with all kinds of graphics.

But now, I never see them.


Has the sun's power diminished... it's nuclear fires slowly waning away? Has plastics technology improved to such a level that car interiors are no longer susceptible to the harming rays of the summer sun? Maybe it's the windshields that are hi-tech... incorporating nanobotic microshielding flavor crytals!

No, much like the swine flu hysteria, it's hype. It's always hype.

Jump in the Fire

My last running post was this and since then I've only gotten up to two 3-milers a week and my knee bothers me a little at various times.

I was planning on doing the Peachtree very non-seriously and enjoying the party side of it but alas... it is not to be. My normally passive brother-in-law has pretty much challenged me to race it and the thought of a 43-yr old with a bum knee beating a 25-yr old former college baseball player is just too sweet to pass up.

So I'll suffer and strain for the next few months and run all out and kill myself and still lose but, hey, that's me.

On the Move

Finn started crawling yesterday although it's not quite full on crawling.. he kind of keeps his right leg bent under his body and drags it along. So... a bit gimpy right now but he's gettin' around.

His favorite toy has been a plastic hammer but that may be a thing of the past now that he's mobile, the theory being that he liked the hammer because he used it to drag items within reach. He also likes one of those weighted diving toys kids play with in the pool along with balls in general.

Pokin' Around

I took last week off from work and spent some time on America's roadways along with half the population of Georgia since the entire school system was on Spring Break. An 8-hour trip to Titusville, FL became 13 hours.... yes, a new record!

We left north Atlanta at 3pm Friday (too late) and took about 3 hours to get to freakin' Macon just south of the city. Then we decided to skip the 75 route to Florida figuring everyone would be on this heading to Mickeyville and the Tampa area where all the old folks live.

But got stuck in construction traffic just north of Jacksonville... went 3 miles in two hours. Sitting there with a seemingly perfect lane blocked off... fun stuff. But the kicker was getting up to the construction area with a bunch of idling trucks and dozens of gigawatt klieglights all for the cliche... nine guys standing around looking at one guy poking a piece of rebar in a patch of tar.

Anyway, the weather was nice..... did some swimming and beaching and it was great to see my family. Midway through the visit, Finn decided he did not want to be in the car at all for any trip so we were very much dreading the ride home and basically planned to stay in a hotel on the way but he was fine and the traffic was fine... 9 hours which is definitely a record (on the good side) for us.

Hybrid children watch the sea

I’m going to Metallica in October.

I haven’t been at all into them since 1991 and, other than some Lollapalooza’s and Midtown Music’s (which are really more like “festivals”), I haven’t been to a big show since Van Halen’s 5150 tour in 86… which is probably a main reason I stopped seeing big shows.

They’re way, way overpriced. You can’t see the band. The beer is priced at captive rates and the whole crowd thing sucks. I always ended up standing around pretending I didn’t feel like a moron for dropping so much cash on an “event” when I’d be having a better time at a bar.

But, me an’ Metallica…see… we go way back.

In the early 80’s, I was into hard rock and metal…longish hair… ¾ sleeve concert shirts and all that. I liked the crap along with the good stuff but the spandex and hair bands were getting tiresome as well as popular…. something I’ve always veered away from for some reason.

Enter Metallica.

I don’t remember when I first heard them… it was either just before or just after their second album “Ride the Lightening” came out in 84 but I do remember glomming on to them like… like… I don’t know… white on rice? Hipsters to a Starbuck’s with wi-fi? Ants to one of those liquid poison bait traps that you can get in 10-packs at Home Depot (they really work!)?

Well, it looks like I covered a lot of this here… especially the part about standing woefully outside their show in Hollywood in 85. Heck, I even covered one of my “music moments” when I first put Master of Puppets on my Dad’s turntable.

Master of Puppets was purchased without ever hearing a song. Of course, this wasn’t really out there because Metallica never got much airplay back then but what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t have to hear a single sample before slapping my money down. A big deal for me and an attribute of only a few other bands.

I bought their 4th album the same way. I also bought a picture disc and an EP. I still have all of these… most of them well-played but since I already had all the songs on the EP, I never even opened it and it still sits in my garage in its original shrink-wrap.

I bought The Black Album in 91 the same way as the others. I listened to the first song… whatever it was… and was utterly unimpressed. I then listened to the first 30 seconds of the rest of the songs, pulled the cassette out of my tape player, and pulled out all the tape. I never bought another album and I could probably only name five or six post 4th album Metallica songs and most of those are covers.

And I shall spare you the old Metallica rules/new sucks blather. Amazingly, in any Comments section on ANY SINGLE THING TO DO WITH METALLICA since Comments sections existed, this argument will immediately be revisited. I’m not talking down deep either, I’m talking a day-old comment “Cliff Rules!” Dave Mustaine got kicked out of the band twenty-six freakin’ years ago… before their first album. Cliff Burton was killed twenty-three years ago. Move fucking on.

Anyway, I’ve always loved their older stuff and still listen to it fairly often. Supposedly, the latest album harkens back to it and I’ve heard they play a lot of their old stuff on the latest tour. I’ve always wished I saw them live and this’ll likely be their last hurrah so I’ll be there.

Nationwide

Rarely do I ever see anyone drive with their windows open. And if they do, it’s usually because they’re smoking. I’m not sure why this is but I can think of a few possible reasons:
1) the wind noise makes it difficult to chat on the cellphone,
2) the wind disturbs their precious hair,
3) their temperature comfort band is very narrow,
4) fear of carjacking,
5) having the windows open lets in the real world disturbing their cocoon and disrupting their homogeneous home-car-office continuity.

I suspect it’s mostly #3 with a little bit of all the rest but me, I like all the windows open which is one of the reasons the only car I’ve ever “cared” about is a Jeep.

Unlike most people, especially guys, I do not notice cars. Unless there is something pretty unique about it, I have no idea what type of car anyone drives even people I’ve known for a while and even cars I’ve been in. Sure, I guess I differentiate slightly between a sedan, a truck, an SUV, or a minivan but not styles or colors at all and a fancy BMW looks like a Saturn or an Accord or whatever. To me, cars are like shoes.

But I like Jeeps. And by Jeep, I don’t mean a Liberty or Cherokee… I mean the Wrangler with the removable top. And, yes, I admit… I even like the tough-looking ones with the black rims and massive bumpers and all that.

In the late 90’s, I bought an old CJ-7 that was like that with the metal interior and basic seats… pure utilitarian... save for the ghostly "Beast" airbrush design on the tire cover! I remember once after leaving it out open in the rain, I rushed off to somewhere and braked suddenly at an intersection and tons of water that had collected in the back came rushing up soaking my feet and splashing all over out the open doors to the amusement of the pedestrians about.

I took it out for off-road stuff a few times but decided it wasn’t worth spending hours and hours fixing my Jeep after these endeavors. I had no problem with forest roads, mud and brush, but didn’t need the rock-crawling. And then I wrecked it when I guy cut in front of me on Spaghetti Junction. The bungeed-on battery flew through the hood and hit the guys car… along with my Jeep.

I decided that I wanted a Jeep that was dependable and didn’t keep me under the hood so I bought a brand spanking new 99 TJ. The first ones that came out (again) with the round headlights from the old days. Yeah, the seats weren’t vinyl and the interior was carpeted but the top came down, the doors came off, and it had two big speakers on the overhead “sport” bar.

I loved driving through town in it and would keep the top down as often as possible wearing a big coat, hat, and gloves on cold mornings and getting rained on. My favorite times were going through town on weekends. I loved being a part of the surroundings instead of insulated in a cupholder/NPR/air-conditioned shell.

One Jeep moment was driving through the beep-boop—beep-boop intersection of Highland and Ponce as a Smurf on a Halloween night painted blue with no shirt with Rage Against the Machine blaring. Another was straight out of a commercial when I had three girls along on a spring day with the trees in bloom. I even drove my new bride from the cathedral to the reception in that Jeep festooned with ballons and streamers.

And practical, too. I would leave it wherever I ended up getting drunk and would ride my bike back to it the next morning and strap the bike on the rack on the back and drive off.

Other than the slight bother of putting the cover up and down it did have the downside of accessibility. People would go in and rummage through my crap every once in a while because you never lock a Jeep up in town. Better a little stolen change than a knifed-open soft top. But I still rarely lock my doors even now. My philosophy is too never keep anything in the car worth stealing.

Yup, I loved it but when Liam came along, I sold it to save money.

I will Jeep again.

I can’t wait to can’t wait for winter

I’ve always liked the cold more than the heat and even in my many trips up north I’m usually the only one not complaining about the cold. My Mom is from Newfoundland, Canada and my Dad is from Duluth, Minnesota so I guess it’s in my blood.

But I am looking forward to summer. I’m actually relishing the thought of sweating out in the backyard pushing around that lawnmower week after week then sitting back in the kiddie pool with Finn while the cicadas do their banshee thing.

And - jesus christ - I really can't wait for Delaware 2009.

Sorry no bloggy

but I was in Rochester, NY, for work. Nothing much to report. Lots of work… pizza and sandwiches at the plant… only crept away from the hotel for one night when we went to Dinosaur BBQ…. kind of a Fatt Matt’s mixed with just a smidge of Hard Rock. I recommend it if you find yourself in Rochester…. after you figure out what was in that punch you were drinking last night, of course.

Today, went to Erin’s Pinewood Derby… more on that when I get the pics uploaded.

Tomorrow is Erin’s birthday party… she turns 6 on Tuesday.

Bounce'em All

Today driving home from Erin’s swim lessons, 88.5 was playing Disney soundtracks and we heard songs from Lion King, Little Mermaid and then they played the theme from Gummi Bears. We were kind of laughing about it and singing it and later on I was thinking about how it was to be the guy who sung this… especially the high note at the end. This guy probably started out thinking he was going to be a rock star and somehow ended up singing for lame cartoons. Sure, he’s done a heck of a lot better for himself than 99% of people who try to sing for a living but still, it’s gotta stick in his craw a little.

And then I realized that it sound just like a song from the first album by these guys.

Uncle

It's been a few months since I got my knee surgery and I have NOT got back into running. Part of it's my work... it's not as nice a running area as my old office was and I'm so freakin' busy I've been taking 15 minute lunches... and it's not my knee. I feel it but it doesn't hurt when I run.

I did get a new bike and I do some good hilly rides on the weekends but that's not going to cut it...I'm going to have to buckle down as I've done in the past and just do it.

BUT... I've pretty much decided that my last marathon will be my only one. The doctor said I could do it and I did like training for it and doing it but I plan on hiking and doing stuff with my kids for a long time so my plan is to run 2-3 times a week.. short 3 milers... and ride more and spare my knees. It's going to be hard to keep running without a race goal but I did sign up for the Peachtree so that'll help.

Keepin' it Unreal

There are way too many mythological entities in my household... we've got Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Big Guy, of course... but we also have the Tooth Fairy and get this... two days ago, Erin left out bread to trap a Leprechaun.

Forget the hearse 'cause I never die

Well, I did start the cataclysm-prep and I did get caught up on a few other pursuits but I still have a little ways to go. I also thought I would have built up a small cache of post-material but alas I’ve got only one episode in reserve.

The requisite fam update:
Liam’s in the chess club… enjoys it but I will only let him win 1 out of every 3 games we play. He’s just about earned his Wolf Badge and here was his car in the Pinewood Derby. In the right of the pic, the mouse on the wedge of cheese. It was his idea, he painted it, did some of the cutting, and most of the sanding.

Erin is still on the edge of getting rid of her training wheels. She was into Pixie Hollow for a bit (I wouldn’t let her “accept” friends). She’s in Daisies which is the kindergartener Girl Scouts. We sold cookies in the neighborhood. Believe me, tasty cookies at $3.50/box is a far easier sale than $25 bins of popcorn!

Finn is eating real food… tons of it. Potatoes, pasta, basically anything “soft” we’re eating and lots of it. His favorite toy is a ball so maybe we have the jock of the family here. He’s not crawling at all yet but that may be because we’re not really encouraging him to. We’re not discouraging it but Kerry’s pushing off the frantic follow-around-the-house, can’t-take-your-eyes-off-for-a-second time as long as possible.

Kerry is continuing to keep us on a steady path of thrift and domestic excellence in the new economy although recently, because of a recent near-disaster with our computer, she purchased a $200 laptop. Supposed this is a backup for our PC but seems to be more of an IMDB/Hulu/Facebook toy.

My company is doing relatively ok… they have felt the downswing of course and there have been some layoffs and furloughing. However, I happen to be involve in a few projects involving the solar industry so thanks to the Dems, I’m extremely busy. In fact, since I have to get an order out the door on Wednesday, I know that I will be way late getting home tomorrow night so we are delaying our corn beef and cabbage (and Smithwick’s) until Wednesday evening. We had planned a while back on doing something more for St. Patrick’s Day for the reasons here but didn’t happen.

In fact, it’s funny given my long, inebriated past, but I can’t remember a single “incident” happening on St. Patrick’s Day (and I’m not only counting St. Pat’s that happened on weekends…if I went out on a Friday night for a Thursday St. Pat’s, that counts). In fact, I can really only remember celebrating it one or two times. No, not because of that but because it was never anything that rose out of the usual for me.

Until later, me boyo

Well, although I'm itchin' to share the tale of last week's bike ride and all the joggers running in the cold when just a few weeks ago (pre-New Year) there was no one not to mention the fact that Uncle Duke has not finished his Disney epic... specifically the finale at the alcohol-free (or is it?) Magic Kingdom, I must commit myself to slack-time computer persuits other than blogging. Namely some resume-updating and contact-gathering is in order.

No, I'm not overly worried about an impending layoff... although anything could happen... I just want to be prepared for the worse and unfortunately, I can't shake the feeling that it's going to get a whole lot worse... and I'm talking Grapes of Wrath, nothings-gonna-get-us-out-of-this-except-for-a-world-war kinda stuff.

Note, I'm not being logical here. I'm not saying I rationally think that is what's going to happen... just what my gut is saying. Which is exactly the reason that it's going to be real tough to get us out of this... everyone's thinking (or soon will be) thinking this way, hunkering down, and not spending.

On that note, politics and policy aside, if anyone's got a chance to get us out before it gets real bad, Obama does seem to have the charisma and leadership that he's going to need to ram stuff through the mess that is Washington... and he's gonna have to do it right when he gets it while his momentum is high.

So we'll see.

But meanwhile, I'm gonna drop off the grid for a bit. Check in two months from now... right after St. Patrick's Day.

The Great American Novel

Various stories of mine that are welded into my psyche... most of which will never get recorded... primarily because I'll never end up getting around to it but also to protect the incoherent. Please excuse some of the language.. at times, a necessary evil.

The Rock-Paper-Scissors Obsession
The Rock in the Hand Story
The “We Were Stuck” Story
The “Yeah, Whatever…Get Out of My Way” Confusion
The Kick a Hole in the Wall Story
The Dual-Smack at The Edge Story
The Shotgun the Beer for the Cop Story
The Tooth in Head, Blood Everywhere Story
Dice at Spit and Sportstown
The Sleestak Origin Story
The Matt’s Piece of Shit Car Stories
The “Where’s the Keys?” Story
The “Slammin’s Fun” Story
The “Americans Veddy Rude, Man!” Exposure
The “Your Shirt’s on Fire” Story
The Spit on Spud at Spit Story
The Mattress Store Story
The Volleyball Accident
The Krystal Kronicles, or “Cold Fries Don’t Please No One”
The “I’m Going Hungry” Insanity
Ronski’s Fish Story
The Love Triangle Story
The “Save the Forest” Story
The Septic Miasma or The Anjali Deluge
The Lover Not a Fighter Story
Jim’s Nose, Meet Ramp
The Church Parking Lot Story
The “Get the Fuck Off Me!” Story
The “Condition that Shit” Story
The Infamous Volleyball Court Jump Story
The “Viva L’America!” Graduation Story
The Passed Out in the Trunk Story
The New Year’s Day Makeover Story
The “What the FUCK are you doing?” Blowout Story
The Brand New Car Rollover Story
The Shopping Cart Impact Test
The Subway Follies
The “Burning Matt with an Iron” Story
The “Back into Matt’s Bug While Trying to Make Mark Puke” Story
“Nice Tits!” in the Lull with Keytossing
Acid Conestogas
Marky-Mark’s Penthouse Interview
Matt’s Never-Ending Alarm Clock SleepThru’s
The Shopping Cart Impact Test
The “Oops” Jim Parks Elsewhere for a Week Story

THE SUBWAY FOLLIES
Cherry Bomb
The Napkin/Bracelet “Jim’ll eat anything” Consumption
The Sleestak Origin Story
King Diamond
Don’t Answer It!

The SigEp This Could be You/Charter Story
The Through the Window Gumball Fiasco
Jamie Does a Ramp Trick
Travis, do you believe in God?
Sharine screams out the stripper
Naked hippie in LP’s room
Skinny dipping with Stipe's sister

Atlanta Posse Stories

The Majestic
The Bicycle Thief II
The Case of the Flying Fig Newtons
The Mummyman Chronicles
“Eggs anyone?”
Jim Stops the Funk
Seabolt Takes On The Boss Monster on Level Five/Mark Gets Nutty
Ashim Takes the Heinz Ketchup Taste Test
Matt Takes The Aquatic Action Game Taste Test
Cousin Danny Visits the Big City
Travis’ Forehead
The Matt in the Ceiling Story
The Highland Moving Fiasco
The “Were you on my porch last night?” Story

I'm all a-tingle.

Tonight was Finn's first "Lost" night.

Christmas Wrap

Xmas 08, Liam’s stated favorite toy was the classic Etch-A-Sketch but the one he’s playing with the most is the latest incarnation of his track obsession. It’s a marble track rollercoaster a little (but not much) smaller version of this.

He also got one like this for his birthday so hopefully no more crazy track systems for a while.

Erin usually begs for something, then ignores it in favor of whatever little doll setup she’s into. This time the to-die-for but basically untouched item was a plastic dog that swims.

And the gifts she actually plays with were fairy dolls from the new Disney Tinkerbell movie which I’m a little surprised they didn’t decide to upgrade it to the big screen instead of straight to DVD but what do I know about mass marketing to kindergarteners?

Finn (who I have nicknamed "Wubba" for some reason) plays with a Winnie the Pooh plastic beeping thing.

Right after Christmas, we drove down to Florida and spent some time with my family plus swam at the beach in 84 degree weather. Woo hoo!

Literally a quantum leap in technology!

Speaking of bad grammar, I saw the below in an article in the Wednesday paper:

Leroy's portly figure helps him sell the humor of his character. But
Mann said he lost 40 pounds between the movie and the TV series, which
has shot 10 episodes so far. The bosses told him not to lose any more.

"Most actors get punished for gaining weight," he mused. "Now they're
giving me slack for losing weight!"

Giving me slack? Giving slack, of course, means giving someone a break, relaxing a strict rule, etc., as in ”hey, cut me some slack” meaning “don't be so hard on me”. It doesn't mean getting criticized as ol'Leroy uses it.

I wondered if this was evidence of yet another screwup in the what passes for communication, specifically a newly emerging contronym... a word that has a meaning that contradicts another. I Googled a little and it looks like it is.

Contronyms like “sick” and “bad” came about on purpose while “getting/giving slack” would be because of a mistake… like “could care less”. Somehow, “flak” has been turned into “slack”.

Morons.

Digits

Today I found out that Erin got a call from a boy in her class. Apparently, yesterday, "Matthew" gave her his phone number and when she didn't call him he was upset so he asked her today for her number and she gave it to him. He called her tonight (the little punk!) and they talked for just under 30 minutes.

I have no idea how I feel about this as it came completely out of left field. THEY ARE IN FREAKIN' KINDERGARTEN!!!!