Delmarva-lous!

Just about every summer, we make the long drive up to Delaware were my aunt-in-law has a house about a 100 yards from the beach spend a relaxing week or so slathered in sunscreen and sand.

Highlights of this summer's beachapalooza include:

In DC on the way up in the American History Museum, a laughing Finn decided to sample the tastes of the city by licking the main floor.

Liam was the builder and made sand sculptures of a slice of pizza, a crashed flying saucer, and a giant foot. Not to mention that he made a working crane from the remnants of an Erector Set from the 50's or 60's.




Erin was the mermaid and was tireless on her boogie board, spending hours honing her craft. Plus riding her bike around the neighborhood and and helping her aunt in the garden.

















The first 2-3 days the water was like a lake and Finn completely ignored the ocean. Of course, the 4th day when the waves were insane is the day he decides to take an interest in the water but basically, he stuck to his mission to destroy his brother's creations whenever his back was turned.







On the last day, with the van all packed up, Cokes at the ready for the driver, toys and books organized in the back for the kiddies.... all ready to go, hugs given and byes made. I start the van in reverse and back up 1" - ONE INCH - and here "I gotta go potty!" from the back. I swear to God I am not making this up! I know, I know 1 inch is better than 1 mile down the road but it was hilarious... or would've been if it wasn't repeated every half hour!

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Last week I had the pleasure of experiencing two birthdays.... mine and my youngest son's.

For Finn's 3rd, we had been planning for a while to take him to see Cars 2.
1) He liked the first Cars
2) It was premiering on his actual birthday
3) It would be his first movie on the big screen

It was only later we found out that
4) The #2 main character was named Finn!

Fun was had by all and he now is the proud owner of several Finn McMissile accoutrements including two T-shirts, a few toy cars, and a flashlight.

Then for my birthday my wonderful wife kept it simple, some beer and a few uninterrupted hours playing old school Mario with Liam.

We don't have a Wii or DS or anything like that for the kids so although their absence keeps proving itself a great thing time and time again, every once in a while I have the occasional nagging vision of my eldest son unable to "hold his own" in imagined pre-teen basement contests of manhood. So because of this, it eases my parental guilt to treat myself.... nay, to "instruct" my son in the fine time-honored tradition of gamesmanship.

Plus Mario is goddamn cool as hell...

I remember well sitting on a ratty (ratty? maybe "vomity" is a more accurate term since I never saw a rat there) couch in a ra- err.... well lived-in apartment deep in what was termed the "ghetto" next to the University of Central Florida, well-supplied with Busch but still riveted at 5am in concentration on jumping on the egg in Ice World 2 or throwing the turtle shell in order to unleash the Tanooki feather or whatever it was we were doing that I really only just now remember the details of because I recently gloriously relived them...

5am? It was more like 7am when I stumbled outside after finally defeating King Frog. Good times those were. Searching for hidden shortcuts for hours and hours, fish sandwiches, Subway drama.... good times. Mario 2 and 3... fine vintages.

GRAVY BOAT STAY IN THE NOW!!

My youngest son's birthday is 3 days before mine which is nice because it has eclipsed mine.

I suppose if I "got what I wished for" and nobody mentioned my birthday again I might miss the normal gestures of friendship and civility especially from my family but are birthday celebrations really something adults should be indulging in? Sure, maybe back in the days of influenza, famine, and invading hordes the culmination of another year of life was an achievement, something worthy of commemorating. But now? What the hell are you celebrating? The fact that you didn't crash your car?

I'm not saying you shouldn't celebrate your achievements.. you bought a nice house, graduated college, got a new job, stayed married for 10 years? Have a party!

But... you managed to live another year??

You want to celibrate life, love, and family? I've got no problem with that either... that's what Christmas, anniversaries, kid's birthdays, Mother's/Father's Day, etc and all that is for.

We've got enough freakin holidays. And, by the way, to most of you I'm talking to, our GODDAMN ENTIRE LIVES ARE HOLIDAYS!!!!

And let me emhasize, by that I don't mean you should feel guilty or that you haven't earned what you have. I'm just saying do you really feel you deserve pats on the back and a few gifts for doing F*ING NOTHING BUT MANAGING TO BREATH AIR FOR ANOTHER YEAR???

Planet Jim:

Are you under 5? You get a birthday!! It's mostly for your parents anyway but you did manage not to run out in the street and get hit by a car or stick a fork in an electrical socket so hey, here's some cake!

Are you 5 - 10? Ok, you get a birthday... mostly it's a way to get you to socialize with other kids outside of school now that we make you live in this freakish isolated suburban world but hey, here's a giant pizza! And some cake!

Are you over 10? No, you don't get a birthday... you already have enough crap, you still get Christmas, and it's about time you started learning what the world is really like so get out there and shovel the snow off the driveway before you walk 12 blocks to school...

And you don't get a birthday again until you're 1 year past the average life span.

Quite the Fiffer-feff

Yesterday was some kind of Dr. Suess appreciation day at my kids' elementary. From the evening reports, 90% of the kids did nothing, 9% taped a "Thing 1" sign to their shirt, a few kids wore Cat in the Hat hats or did their hair ala little Cindy Lou Who, 2 kids (one of which was my son) put stars on ther shirts and were the elite Sneetches, and Erin decided to be a Nook.

And no one but Erin had anything to do with it.

But you know me.....

Although Ker and I (mostly Ker) are working to get the house ready to put on the market, it was a good weekend. It was in the mid-70's and sunny the whole time... well, at least during the day, right?

Saturday night was a throwback to intown spring nights: sitting on a patio people-watching. Of course, it was at an open mall instead of the Highlands, and rather than a beer in my hand, I had a sleeping Finn on my shoulder but hey, it was great... well, except fot that thing about not having a beer.

Sunday, Liam and I did a suburban hike through a "wild" area straddling a creek wandering through developments. I'd feel more at ease hiking on a trail rather than through briars skirting backyards but he digs the whole unknown about it.... a real trail just leads to more trail. And I'm outside not scraping gum off the bathroom floor so I'm not complaining.

Then I spent a half hour watching all three of'em riding bikes up and down the driveway at the in-law's place then a little later, we're eating Subway at a new playground at sunset. Like I said, not complaining noooooooo how.

Status update

Well, it's been a while since I blogged mostly because I took the plunge and joinedthe teeming hordes on Facebook.

One advantage is has over blogging (besides the fact that people actually read some of what I write) is the fact that like the rest of our culture, it's fast and furious and can be sampled in quick bites.

One disadvantage is that it's fast and furious and can be sampled in quick bites.

I like to write long-winded rants and extended musings sometimes but I have 3 kids so I don't get the time much. So what I'm going to attempt is to blend the two.

So here's mud in yer eye!

Goodbye

My Dad died peacefully Monday November 8th at 1:38AM after almost a 4 year bout with cancer. It started in his prostate but spread. At several points, the doctors would say he could have 6 months to live (why is it always 6 months?) but he kept going on. For the most part, with pain killers, he got along ok. He went through some threatments and the side effects were bearable. He even got into some chemo that wasn't so bad. Then last year he had some type of chemo that in his words, "nearly killed" him. He basically stopped eating for 40 days.

He bounced back but there was going to be no more chemo for him. Gradually, he became more and more bed-ridden but still, he was relatively ok and usually was in pretty good spirits. Then, a month or so ago he exhibited some signs that either the illness or the drugs were getting to his mind and that's when I think he decided to leave this world.

So he stopped eating and about a week later was gone.

His memorial was exactly what I would like to have for myself. Not a gloomy affair but friends and family talking about him and a few nice speeches which included funny stories. Also, rather than have it end up at a pawnshop my Dad had given his old trombone to a proficient high schooler who played an emotional rendition of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.

Love ya, Dad.

A few of my memories that always give me a laugh were his references to any post-60's band as "degenerate rock pukes", his answer to any "Where is my..." question of "If it was up your ass, you'd know", and when I was a little kid, when I would wake up for school, I'd be in a stupor and he'd gently guide me out of my room "here you go, Jimmy" and into the wall.

By the way, I was planning on giving up this blog about a year ago but since my Dad liked to read it, I kept it going. So I'm gonna let it go and write the family stuff in my written journal... yes, an actual book. But in order to keep some kind of connection with friends, hwever tenuous that may be these days, I'm seriously considering looking into the Facebook thing that's in all the papers.

James Patrick Keough, Jr., 1940 - 2010

James P. Keough, Jr., 70, passed away at home on November 8, 2010 following a long battle with cancer.
Born August 29, 1940 in Duluth, MN, to James and Catherine Keough, deceased.
He attended Holy Rosary Grade School in Duluth and graduated from Campion Jesuit High School in Prairie du Chien, WI, 1958. He attended the University of Notre Dame for two years and graduated from the University of MinnesotaDuluth in 1962 with a degree in Business Administration.

He was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the US Air Force in 1963, retiring as a Lieutenant Colonel in 1985. Upon retirement from the military, he joined the Boeing Company on the International Space Station Program and worked at Kennedy, Marshall and Johnson Space Centers, retiring in Cape Canaveral in 2000.
Jim is survived by his wife, Barbara; son, James (Kerry) and grandchildren, James Liam, Erin Ansley and Finn Patrick; daughter, Suanne (Jason) Register; stepchildren, Jeff (Cheryl) Ellis, Leigh Ellis, and Susie Ellis (Dale) Camposano; stepgrandchildren, Heath Ellis, Drew Montes, and Cole, Victoria and Noelle Nixon; sister, Mary Patricia (Erkki) Aspelin; and brother, Kevin (Pam); nephews, Mark and Erik (Karen) Aspelin.

A celebration of life in honor of Jim is being planned for family and friends. In lieu of flowers, donations in Jim's memory may be made to Wuesthoff Brevard Hospice, 8060 Spyglass Hill Road, Viera, Florida 32940.

Madness

Big changes at work the personal result being my commute is going from 45 minutes to 15. Woo hoo!

Lots of camping.... Erin and me at a Daddy/daughter Girl Scout campout in NW Georgia.
Liam, Erin, and I at a Halloween campout with the Cub Scouts.

Listening to an endless but very entertaining Twain's "Innocents Abroad" on book tape.

Finn had his adenoids removed and, like the King from Mario 3, he's back to his old self again.

We're heading to Disney (again!) for Halloween with a bunch of Kerry's family with many going as Pixar characters. Finn will be Woody, Erin- Jessie, Liam is going to be the magician with the rabbit from one of the shorts, and me... as some might guess, I'm going to be Ken.

Disney is ripping off PBS

Until just recently with the ease of DVR (or whatever exactly the Tivo-like thing on my cable is), PBS had always been the default with the kids. Liam and Erin grew up with Clifford, Sesame Street, Thomas, Bear and the Big Blue House, Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, The Wiggles, and Arthur. I did end up learning the characters, many of the songs ( "I'm the map" and my personal favorite "Backpack" being just a few), and I'm still quoting lines from the Thomas shows as if they were Matrix or SuperBad references. Anyway, I know what I'm talking about when the subject of early 2000's PBS children's television comes up... as it so often does.

Before I had a family, I never thought too much of Disney's animated films. I did remember enjoying "Cinderella" and I had even saw "Beauty and the Beast" in the theater but really... the genre wasn't on my radar. Of course, having kids totally changes that and at times it seems like Disney is the only thing ON you radar but I have to admit, I did come to appreciate the classic films. "Cinderella" and "Bambi" both have moments of genius. Even some of the later ones are decent and, of course, Pixar is in a class all itself but no one really considers them "Disney", right?

Yes, they are often sappy and sometimes full of cliche but one thing I wouldn't have accused Disney of is a lack of creativity. And here, folks, is where the above ties together. Based on some of the stuff I've seen on their cable channel, however, I have to now say they are blatent rip-off artists.

All of a sudden, the Disney channel has several shows that do more than borrow from the PBS shows but instead look to steal the audience for the originals with flashier copies. First, there was "Handy Manny" with his talking tools which is an utter pirating of "Bob the Builder" and his tractors. "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" is not precisely Dora... I mean it's got the classic Disney characters but they are soulless and the whole feel of the show is like the Dora episodes with the backpack ("Toodles" in Mickey's case) being completey ripped off. If that was it I wouldn't even have noticed but then theres the "Imagination Movers" which is the Disney version of The Wiggles.

But the straw that takes the camel's cake is that goddamn Chuggington. I could go on and on about how it is inferior to the old Thomas shows but I'm only here pointing out how it's an example of the current practise of Disney of ripping off PBS.

The bastards.

Be sure to tip your waitress

"Finding Nemo" was the first movie my first son saw in the theater. It's a great movie. I have probably seen it twenty times and it's played in my house likely 40 - 60 times (and it's not even in the top 3 movies played).

Marlin the protaganist has had his wife and dozens and dozens of his childeren savagely murdered. He raises the sole survivor who is then abruptly taken from him. The whole movie is about him trying to get to his son. He finally reaches Nemo only to find (or so he thinks) him dead. He then turns his back on his only remaining friend and tears out on his own.

If it ended here, they could make: "Avenging Nemo: The Outlaw Josey Whales"

HOW TO HANDLE DIFFICULT WATER CONDITIONS

I was cleaning out my sock drawer this afternoon and found (among a lot of other things) the directions for a camping water filter I bought in... must've been the mid 90's. In it, there's a paragraph that says:

If you must purify water that is extremely cold (below 5degC/38degF) and extremely contaminated (for example, immediately downstream from a sewage outlet or livestock feedlot), pump the water throught the purifier two times.

First off, if you are next to a sewage outlet or livestock feedlot, instead of stopping to drink shit, why not walk a few more yards to a house or a building for water? I mean, I think I'd hail a farmhand before setting up to fill my nalgene bottle with the brown chunky water oozing out from under the fence. Or in the case of a sewer... if you are standing next to a "sewage outlet"... unless we're talking meteor-strike or WW3 time, I assume there must be other items of civilization around.... like a sink!!! Don't be shy now.

Second, in the extreme case that I actually find myself getting water from a sewer or livestock feedlot, I'll try to make the time to pump it through a few more times... like seven-hundred.

Hard labor

The team hiked into Panther Creek Falls today. Being one of the first relatively cool, or at least not-so-goddamn-freakin'-hot weekends in a long while, we made it a point to get out of the house. It's further than our usual haunts but I was in the mood for pushin' our limits a little.

Aaaaaaaand did it.

It's 3.6 miles to the falls and it's a long, up and down trek.... especially with a 2 year-old strapped to your back. Kerry says he's thirty pounds but that's gotta be old data. Or at least that's how I felt coming back.... another 3.6 g.d. miles.

I didn't remember it being so long! The first time I hiked in was at night and I was drinking beer as I went. Two activiteis that definitely do not go together.... and I'll be the first to admit that there are a LOT of things that do go well with drinking. It was probably twelve or thirteen years ago... back when I was a moron. There were dozens of sketchy spots along this trail where a slip-up could send you on a slide down a rock-strewn hillside if you were lucky or a quick tumble off a twenty foot drop if you weren't.

About an hour from the falls, everyone that was walking back (and there were a LOT of people on this thing today) would warn us about a yellow jacket nest. Apparently, they weren't idle warnings becasue plenty of the people also added that they had been stung. And here we are with two kids and a toddler. As the yards passed under foot, the warnings continued and the hornet scourge grew more and more fierce in our minds. When we got to the point, we hustled through. I saw nothing - no swirling mini tornado of black specks from the cartoons - but felt the dreaded something on my leg - GET IT OFF!!!!! Kerry got stung and so did Finn... he was a little upset, I mean he was crying but it wasn't the piercer and it didn't last long... pretty soon he was back to whacking me on the head with a stick for laughs.

You might wonder about this last bit but it was something I actually encouraged with silly grunts and wails. If you've had a toddler you'll understand. A laughing tyke is faaaar preferable to a screaming, crying one especially when said screamer is next to your ear. I'll take a few - actually quite a few as it turned out - hits to the skull rather than face that.

So we got to the overlook errrrr "overlooking" the falls ansd scrambled down to the little beach I remember camping on back in those zany days... yeah, real crazy... I was with two couples and I was the only one drinking and I don't believe we even went in the water. Anyway, there were tents there today along with a bunch of other people but only a few swimming. But of course Erin and I had to jump in.... Liam did too after watching us for a while. Even Finn played at the edge throwing in sticks and laughing at the romping Labs.

It was a little iffy about how long it would take us to get out and we knew Finn would soon be nearing the limit of how long he would put up with sitting in the pack. We had let him out once along the way and again at the pool but we knew he was going to hit his wall. Anyway, so we hoofed it back at a pretty quick pace. Finn did end up crying in my ear a lot and he sure wasn't any lighter on the trip back but we made it. I was a hating pup at the end... very tired and my shoulders just screaming bloody murder. I was very impressed that neither Erin or Liam whined at all or even made a single comment about being tired.

Then cheeseburgers at the grandparents... a pretty damn good day.

Neptune's Convoy

Here's a little ol'contrast I just noticed last night....

The first drink of a beer is often the best, and is sometimes even replete with majesty in moments like this. But as for the harder stuff, or whiskey as the case may be, the first sip of a double-shot on the rocks - though bracing - is hardly enjoyable to the tastebuds. I'd say the last one, slowly emerging from rolling and sliding thin-film amongst the cubes is the good'un.

And then before you know it, they gots ya.

And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will come to you

Miss you hiss

So what's common amongst these three songs and a few others that I can't think of?

Lovecats - The Cure
Hot for Teacher - Van Halen
I WIll Follow - U2

When I was in high school during the MTV AGE, I was pretty much a metal head but I always liked The Cure, one of the most original and talented bands of all time... so many unbelievably cool songs. I had had a friend in junior high who was into them.... I found out a long time later that this guy had committed suicide in college, something that surprised me since he seemed like a normal kid but I guess you never know what people are going through. Although the Cure's "Pornography" album is one of the most depressingly heavy albums I've ever heard, the fact that he got me into the Cure and his later suicide as far as I know have nothing to do with each other. Just some random associations of mine about the Cure. That and he had this poster on his wall. Plus that I was listening to them on my ipod while I mowed the lawn today and thought this whole thing up....

The motorcycle growl that is the beginning of the VH song was just getting going when my car was slammed from the left and heaved across the intersection. Speckles of glass were falling and a massive pain was filling my world but the first thing I just had to do was reach towards the radio and shutoff that goddamn song... there is just no way it fit the situation. Later on as the ambulance people were strapping me into a traction suit I found out that a driver had made a left turn into me. She panicked and ducked below the dash and kept the gas pedal pressed and the steering wheel turned so basically did a 270, jumped the median, and broadsided two more cars that had been sitting in the two lanes with her moments before. Turns out I was fine and that was the first of several pre-graduation accidents.

Speaking of college, one of my roomates (and I do mean "room" mate not apartment sharer... it was the same room) built a pretty impressive loft in our room. We each had an area for a mattress and there was a couch and a desk underneath. I remember doing schoolwork at that desk while listening to his "Joshua Tree" CD which, although I always liked U2 back then, was the first time I "got into" them... not that I actually put down any change for one of their albums though. And I know "I WIll Follow" is not on "Joshua Tree" - well, I do now - but the above is one of my few U2 associations. I did like Bobcat Goldthwait's parody of "With or Without You" but I can't find it on the boundless Internets.

Hold up

My Dad sprung for our first grill back when we got the house up here in stripmall paradise and it lasted a long while.... thans Dad! A few new burners extended it's life by three years. Then we repaced it with a castoff from some neighbors which didn't work out (it's basically fon full blast or not at all) so near the end of this summer, with some good deals out there, we picked up a new one.

Here's a pic.

New pets and new grill.... coincidence?

For at least the last 2 years, K and I knew we'd get a pet for Erin sometime. We wanted something small that would be easy to have someone watch when we went on trips. The focus was a hermit crab for a little while then it became a gerbil. then at the beach, it shifted back to hermit crab.

But we ended up getting them two guinea pigs.... and it turns out that Liam, although he always seemed apathetic at best about a pet (and actually against getting a dog, a view we share) was pretty excited about the little guys.

Their names are Jesse and Ryan although they are both girls... according to the pet store. Speaking of, we had planned to get them from a "rescue" or from someone that need to give them up but the rescue places wanted you to basically convert an entire room to a home for the guinea pigs complete with down comforters, whirlpool bathtubs, and a masseuese and the former owner thing just didn't work out.

Jesse was named by Erin for the Toy Story character. Not sure where Liam got Ryan. Ryan is by far the dominant of the two and they eat like... well, like pigs.

Tales of a fourth grade what the f-?

Thursday night, out of the blue, Erin asked me what a dunce cap was. She reads a lot of books in the American Girl series which are based in various times in history so I suppose that's where she picked up the word. Now, when I was a kid, we would have to stand in the corner if we were bad. It's hard to imagine schools nowadays doing that... oh the shame of actually having to be punished for disobeying the rules, it would surely traumatize the kids for life loosing cutthroats and sociopaths on society.

But I have to admit, much like it's not easy to imagine a teacher in the 21st century forcing a child to be made the object of whispering and tittering by his or her classmates for screwing around, it's difficult for me to see a kid being made to sit on a stool at the front of the class with a pointed cap because he was having problems getting the right answer.

When I was in fourth or fifth grade, every Friday we would have dance day at PE. In my elementary in San Antonio, Texas, PE was held in a big, metal building and overlorded by a large woman who was the one who paddled kids on their birthdays... Miss Ostrowski or Snuffleuppagus or something like that was her name. I suppose before I go further I should explain that... when a kid had a birthday, as I remember the whole school would gather round (though I suspect it might have just been the class) and the victim would bend over and get "gently" paddled with a large oar-like implement. The number of hits equaled the number of year the kid had become.

Anyway, for the dances, the boys would pick a girl and they would be partners. I remember one time I was all set to pick Janice Hayes, the crush of my mid-elementary years, but some mean kid named Billy picked her first. I clearly remember seeing the look of what I decided was dissapointment on her face... of course, she was hoping she would get to dance with the short kid with the Coke bottle glasses! Without even mentioning the fact that such "picking" of the girls by the boys would never be allowed these days, the rules of Friday Dance Day dictated that if a boy didn't pick a girl fast enough, he would have to dance with another boy. And one of the boys would have to wear a ribbon!!

Looking back on all this, I realize that this was because there were more boys than girls. So, much like the last sailor down from the sails of the "Bounty" getting whacked with a blackjack, no matter what happened, there would be boys being forced to dance with other boys.

After being too slow to pick Janice, I did not recover and didn't pick another. So I ended up having to dance with Victor.

But he had to wear the ribbon.

She bop-a-kimbap

I had lunch with a former cow orker yesterday and since I hardly ever eat out, I voted for an eclectic place and chose Dan Moo Ji, a Korean place not close to my work but not far. It was, of course, different from the usual and it was interesting not knowing what to order. The waitress made a few suggestions that we sheepishly followed.

We ordered the tuna kimbap that I saw being raved over on the net but it was no big deal. It came looking like sushi and the outside was sushi-esque. As a wrap, it would be pretty good but I guess it had me set for sushi but the thick and standard - hell, I'm not going to do a restaurant review. The food was so-so but I liked it because it was different.... which is not saying a lot.

Joe Bob says check it out.

Not quite up to speed yet

The soles of my feet are stiff leather, hardened by miles of hot sand, driveway rocks, and blazing asphalt.

While I doze off to sleep, my arms twitch in uncontrollable sweeping movements.

At 10, I wonder if today's a good day to have the first beer before noon.

I'm still spitting out salt water and sand.

I wore my sunglasses and re-applied sunblock every two hours...
at work today.